Wrong Side of the Island?

So D Bond, O-dog, and I (S Bond) decided to take an excursion to the Canarias, soon after we arrived, we realized that we were on the wrong side of the island, porque? Here is the list of evidence:

1. We (D Bond, O-dog, and S Bond) are the only people under 60 in the hotel.
2. After wandering the city for hours and doing some "market research", we realized that we were 3 of the 7 people under 50 on the island.
3. The best Christmas celebration organized by the hotel was Bingo and Quiz
4. D Bond was looking for a lighter for 4 hours, from the bar to the restaurant to the reception to the pool and no one had one. Ridiculoso?!
5. The language on the island is German (this is a another German colony in Spain I tell you)
6. Our daily itinerary (in this order): getting up just in time for the breakfast buffet→ watching Taratata (French talk show) or Shin Gian (a perverted Japanese cartoon)→ nap→playing maurituis hearts→drinking cavas→discussing geopolitics and gossiping about the new teams for the next term→falling asleep with strategy books on hand→getting up again for food
7. The best entertainment: commenting the “active seniors” and trying to figure out where they are from
8. There were only two “watchable”/beautiful people in the entire island, the rest is totally unpleasant, the proportion is completely opposite to the Miami beach.
9. The guests at the Quiz actually know that exact number of the rooms in the hotel and the age of the host. How scary is that--they are the “regulars” here.

So this is our conclusion: we are literally practicing our retirement life. (in 5 years for D Bond, in 40+ years for me, and never for O Dog) Would be a scary thought that this is actually my retirement life:)