City of Angles

Not sure how to categorize this entry, it’s about travel because I am going somewhere but it’s also about motherhood and how I feel about my family. 

The in-laws have been here for a week. F, being the best son anyone could possible dreams of, booked a trip to Vegas with the kids for the weekend (since my in-laws have never seen Vegas). I happened to book flight to Barna (oh my beloved Barna) for the Saturday. They left on the Friday morning. Work had kept me busy until the evening. I couldn’t recall the fist time I was here in this house all by myself, perhaps a few years back when F took the kids to Quito for the Spring break.  We have never travelled alone since (unless it’s business trip). We always travel as family, a family of four. We broke the “tradition”, not once but twice this summer. First with E’s sleep-away sea camp. Now my trip to BCN. 

Bridgeton kept me entertained. I killed the first season, loved how they ended the season with Daphne coming of age and matured. She’s the heroine. While browsing through my next Netflix Series, I came across Sex Life, a juxtaposition of Sex in the City, Felicity and Desperate Housewives, all roll into one. Interesting and very graphic. Then I got bored of watching the milf fantasizing her formal sex life.  

At least, it makes me feel not alone, she has the same way of channeling her frustrations, desperation, reminisce and anxiety through writing journals. I am not abnormal. 

I am sitting at the airport, watching baggage trucks going by. I have to admit, this is most likely the first time that I miss “my family”. After spending 24-7 in the house and travelling everywhere together throughout the pandemic (the past 15 months), I had yearned for being by myself. I know that I love them, always do and always will. But just before the trip, I checked in with my feeling and I wasn’t sure how I would feel about it and if I would miss them. Now, it is confirmed. It is affirmative.